Mirror, Mirror
by darthsquirt2
Summary: Peering into a mirror causes subtle changes to the world. Left becomes right, right becomes wrong, hero becomes...well, you're a smart person. You figure it out. Join us as we take a prolonged look into the mirrored version of Middleton, and the world of the fabled Kim Possible. Adventure, crime, romance, and (hopefully) humour. Kigo, because of course it is. I wrote it.
1. Setting the Scene and Some Alliteration

_A/N: A big shout out of thanks to Juckalope for letting me use their wonderful picture "Let's Fight" as a cover image. You rock!_

The lab was dark. Quiet too, but both were to be expected. The hour was beyond late, and lodged somewhere in the realm of "ungodly." A mind of an extra-legal persuasion might observe that this is a time ripe with opportunities: no witnesses; plenty of shadows to lurk, or perhaps slink about in; and a bounty of unattended, very valuable goodies to busy a fence with.

In short, it was a typical Tuesday night for one very special thief.

The criminal in question was (and to be fair, still is) a woman, and was currently breaking into this very secure, officially-doesn't-exist, room. She grinned faintly, charged with the thrill of the burglary. The object of her larcenous desire sat on its own (very professional) stand in the centre of the room.

"Oh." The woman groaned, speaking to the, probably very scientific, object. "If only you weren't a blatant trap, we could've had something special."

As if on cue, the room's lights raised.

"If you're done sweet-talking the bait, madam," a voice rang out, "we're going to arrest you now."

"The head of Global Justice in the flesh." The thief grinned, looking around at the grey-uniformed men surrounding her, and , in particular, the one leading them. "I should be honored. Lovely seeing you again Dr. Director." She smirked. "Or can I just call you Sheldon?"

"You can be as glib as you want, Ms. Possible." The greying man scoffed. "But we have you now. Surrender, and this won't get ugly. This time, even for you, escape is..." He grinned, "...quite impossible."

"Check the name, cyborg." The world's most notorious thief, Kim Possible, laughed. Her hands reached out to clutch the device before her, and she followed with an immediate backflip that, not only would've impressed an Olympic panel had one (for some reason) been present, but also carried her safely away from the reinforced cage that appeared, as if from thin air, where she had just been standing. "Thanks for the toy." A hand raised, clutching her grappling hook. If fired into the ceiling, pulled taut, and pulled her into the safe darkness of the rafters. "Send someone more interesting next time." She cackled madly.

For the third time that month, Dr. Sheldon Director swore.

Elsewhere, and by elsewhere, I mean in a hovercraft rapidly escaping the scene, Kim shared a high five and a toast of soda with her getaway drivers.

"Booyah!" Her partner-in-crime, Ronald Stoppable cheered, careful to keep one hand on the wheel as he chugged his cola. "Heistage!"

"Uh-huh, Uh-huh!" His mole-rat compatriot, Rufus, nodded his assent.

Kim smiled contentedly, gently sipping her own bottle of pop. "So not the crime drama."

"Oh really?" Ron smiled broadly, finishing his own bottle and tossing it out of the aircraft. "Let's ask Wade, hmm?"

On cue, the face of their friend, hacker, and comrade-in-illegality appeared on the hovercraft's dashboard viewscreen.

"It's already been posted to the front page of every major newspaper, and plenty of the ones no-one cares about: Team Possible, Laughing, Loots Lanchester Launcher-Global Justice Left Lagging."

"Love the alliteration." Ron declared, giving his friend a thumbs up.

"I thought it was a nice touch." Wade beamed. "See you three at the hideout?"

"Of course." Kim leaned back in her chair, tossing her, now empty, bottle into the sea below. "Setup or not, I'm getting paid for this. Find me some money, Wade."

"Done. Don't worry, Kim. I'll find us a buyer. I know you love payday so."

"I do," Kim pretended to swoon. "I really do."

Four voices carried on with knowing, maniacal, laughter as the vehicle that carried (most of) them sped away into the night.

* * *

A/N: Thoughts?


	2. Meet the Masterminds

Shego sighed, once again refreshing the pages of Two-Facebook and ClarkKent'slist. It shouldn't be this hard to find a partner. She fumed, checking over her pending sidekick requests. Sure she had been the mastermind of the diabolical Team Go for most of its existance, and it was also true that she had topped interpool's most wanted list for two consecutive years, but really. She was trying to turn over a new leaf. For real this time, not as part of some maniacal scheme. She was just plain tired of hurting people, of seeing weeping faces on the news cursing her. She grew weary of all the rueing of days she caused.

The trouble was that few people believed her change-of-heart to be anything akin to genuine. Thus, she was desperately paging through the new up-and-coming heroes on multiple websites, hoping that at least one of them would give her the benefit of the doubt.

_Hm,_ she pondered, eyeing one of the new entries that popped up when she refreshed the page (again).

_Drew Lipski, A.K.A. Dr. Drakken. Sane Scientist and Philanthropist. Enjoys tinkering and planning to save the world. Looking for sidekick to provide base security and to help engage villainous ne'er do wells._

_Well,_ Shego sighed again,_ why not? It beats going solo._ With a few rapid clicks, she sent him a little message.

_Hello, _Dr. Drakken

Ex-villain Shego _wants to be your sidekick._

_Confirm? Y/N_

Shego leaned back, refreshing the page again. To her surprise, a reply was waiting for her when she did.

Dr. Drakken _has confirmed your sidekick request. You are now a_ Dynamic Duo!

Shego didn't even try to fight the wide grin that spread across her face. Something told her that this was going to go swimmingly.

* * *

"Hey Kim." Wade grinned as he stepped into the kitchen of Team Possible's H.Q. The furnishings were luxurious, even if the room was a bit tight. At Ron's insistence, the room contained a five-star set of cooking appliances and tools. It came out of his paycheck, so neither Kim nor Wade begrudged him that. The indulgent leather chairs and finely crafted mahogany table were more Kim's thing, as Wade only really needed his own room furnished.

"Wade."

"Technomaster."

"Hi!" Came the assorted greetings from Kim, Ron, and Rufus. The latter two were busying themselves preparing dinner. Judging by the smell, it was proceeding excellently. Since Kim wasn't helping, it was almost a sure thing that nothing would explode. In fact, Kim was already at the table, busying herself with a small, but powerful, laptop. A small cylinder sat to her side.

"Kim, what's that?" Wade questioned, confused.

Kim glanced up at him. "This?" She held up the offending object. "It's a portable laser I sidekickstartered."

"Oh." Wade frowned slightly. "Because it looks like lipstick."

"Well, nothing's perfect." Kim sighed dramatically.

"'cept money." Rufus squeaked back to them.

"Unmarked, non-sequential bills." Kim agreed.

"Exactly!" Ron smiled, turning to them, arms overburdened with full plated. "Now who's hungry?"

* * *

A/N: And there we are. Slowly but surely, we're meeting the cast. As I'm still in the beginning, in addition to the usual critiques, I'll take a few requests for short little snippets into other characters lives that I might not otherwise show.


	3. Introducing Folks

The first thing Shego was forced to concede upon entering Drakken's lair for the first time, was that the man had an amazing talent for interior decorations. Mego-who had once declared himself a fengshueimancer-would've been both impressed and intimidated with what the man could accomplish with a colour palette alone. And this was just the entrance room.

Normally the first meeting didn't occur in one party's base of operations. It was usually on the streets: bonding time over fighting crime and all that. Unfortunately Shego hadn't made it to their scheduled rendezvous before beginning the fighting of crime. She had to stop three robberies alone, and when she did, the police wanted to have a chat with her, forcing her to break out, yet again, from jail. It was really hard to go straight when one was constantly needing to escape from police captivity (honestly though, it had been more on reflex than anything else). Drakken, strangely, had been elated with her initiative, and had praised her inability to let such crimes go unpunished. He was of the mind that it was better to have a strong sense of justice than to have a strong sense of punctuality. To avoid distractions of a criminal sort was the main reason why they were meeting at his lair. The other reason was that the middleton police were still looking for Shego. She waited until precisely two minutes before the scheduled meetup time before ringing the buzzer.

The main door slid aside to reveal a cheerily lit room that boasted a surprising array of flora of various shapes, sizes, and colours lining the walls. Two very cushy beanbag chairs sat on opposite ends of an admittedly high-tech, yet cozy looking briefing table.

Normally, Shego preferred to stand in the corner of any given room, face concealed by the shadows, legs ready to bolt, the whole schtick. She was a recovering supervillain, after all. This time however, that was impossible. There were so many plants, and then there were those chairs…

When Drakken entered the room a few moments later, bearing a large tray of steaming choco-moo and fresh cookies, he found his prospective sidekick lounging comfortably in one chair and looking _thoroughly_ ashamed of herself.

[Do do DO doot, this indicates a scene change, do Do dodele DOOT]

"So, Gemini, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Kim purred, looking at the video screen in front of her.

She was tucked away safely in her hideout, and was preparing for another heist (a practice one, really) when a call from the head of the Worldwide Empire of Evil came through.

"You have something of Global justice's, Miss Possible. Something you took recently. Something I want." Came the answering voice. It was electronically scrambled, and the video was just a silhouette. Kim wanted to laugh at how utterly cliche it all was, especially considering that she knew exactly who was on the other end of the line.

"Okay cyclops, I might have something fitting your description." Kim smiled coyly. "Put a price tag on it that beats the Seniors, and we can do business.

Gemini swore. She should've know that accursed do-gooder would've tried to ransom the stolen item back from Kim.

"What's he offering?"

"What're you offering?"

Gemini frowned, though Kim couldn't see it.

"Miss Possible, I am willing to offer you whatever price he put upon it, plus expenses, and I can assure you that Global Justice will not take the exchange as an opportunity to attempt to incarcerate you."

"Tempting." Kim drawled. "Very tempting. But Señor Senior Senior has such a lovely estate. All those not-quite-death traps and highly secured valuables." Kim trailed off, fantasizing about larcenizing (yes it is a word, Kim stole it into the dictionary) his ancestral home.

Gemini paused for a moment. Thinking. Calculating. Ding.

"I can offer you something more, Miss Possible."

"Oh?"

"A dossier on a new 'hero' entering play. One that I think Global Justice will send after you before too long."

"Is it a she?" Kim asked, snapping back into focus, all attention given (temporarily) to the head of W.E.E.

"Yes."

"Is she cute?"

"Perhaps."

"Done and done."

"Pleasure doing buisness with you, Possible"

"It is, isn't it?"

A thousand miles away, Betty "Gemini" Director smiled.


	4. Motivations and Punny Names

"Hey, Kim." Ron smiled as he wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. "I just finished loading up the hovercraft. We ready to head out to triple-s's?"

"We're not selling to Señor Senior Senior." Kim declared cryptically. She walked past him to leap into the hovercraft with her typical acrobatic flair (in this case, not one, but two backflips) before looking back at her longtime friend and partner-in-crime. "Betty made us a better offer."

Ron sighed knowingly. "She bribed you with date material?"

"She bribed me with date material." Kim nodded, looking rather pleased with herself.

Ron groaned, which provoked a spark of indignancy within Kim.

"Well, excuuuse me!" She drawled almost spitefully. "But we can't all date a ninja/assassin from some stupid mystical kung-fu monastery, Ronald."

"You don't need to say assassin after ninja," Ron complained, "being a ninja implies that assassinations are committed."

"Why would you even chose to focus on that?"

"Well, I think it's important to-"

"That was a rhetorical question, Ron."

"Well, it didn't sound very rhetorical, KP."

"Well it was, and it did, so nyeh." Kim stuck her tongue out at the young man standing before her.

"Look, Kim." Ron began, taking a deep breath. "All I'm trying to say is that you're taking this all a bit too far. Remember what happened with Electronique?"

"We pinky swore to never speak of that again." Kim declared darkly.

"And for good reason. Don't you think it might be better to slow down a bit? What's all this even about?"

Kim was unusually quiet for almost twenty seconds before continuing. When she began speaking again, her voice was markedly softer than normal.

"Ron, I can't keep doing this forever. The constant thieving and burglarizing, I mean. I want to settle down eventually. Find a nemesis, get a lair. Maybe have a scheme or two foiled. You know, all the things every villainess wants."

"You're kidding, right?" Ron asked tentatively, the look on his face a mixture of horror and concern.

Kim began laughing hysterically. "Of course I am!" It took a whole three minutes for the giggle-fit to subside. "Oh the look on your face. No, I was kidding. 'Cept about the wanting to find a nemesis thing."

[Time for the scene change jingle! Hmm hm hmmm hmhm hmmhm]

Shego wasn't good with "paying attention" to things that disinterested her. Unfortunately, all the things that did interest her were supervillainessque in nature, and she had swore off those. Three weeks clean, honest. That being said, she did not foresee job interviews or resume reviews making her top ten list as a do-gooder. Hero. Whatever, semantics. It was hard going straight, and the important thing was that she was trying. She was, in fact, very, very trying.

"Well, Shego, everything appears to be in order, your large criminal record notwithstanding." Drakken smiled conspiratorially. "We'll just have to work on that, won't we?"

It took a moment for Shego to realize she'd been asked a question. "Yes, sir."

"Good. To that end, I've already lined us up an encounter. Apparently some thief stole something from Global Justice, and are planning to hand it off to the Worldwide Empire of Evil." He pushed a button on the table before him, and the device in question appeared. "Global Justice has asked me, and by extension, you, to foil their nefarious plot."

Shego knew just what this was. Sheldon liked to throw prospective heroes against villains his goons couldn't handle as both a distraction, and to gauge the hero's potential.

"And what's the name of this thief?" Shego asked, genuinely curious as to who in the world would try to make a living stealing from G.J.

"Her name...is Kimberly Anne Possible."

Shego sat silently for a moment.

"Kim Possible? Really?"

"I know, right? That's the first thing I thought of too."

"Wait, is that a name she came up with or something?"

"No, it's her honest-to-goodness actual birth name."

"That's messed up. Her parents are deranged."

"You know, as a matter of fact, they are. I knew her father James back in college."

"Jim Possible, are you kidding me? Do stupid names run in the family or something?"

"So it would seem."

It was a particularly unusual way to start bonding, but they weren't usual people. That being said, it took them another hour to actually head out to try and thwart the whole "crime" thing.

_A/N: Okay, I think I'm going to be able to do some semi-regular updates now. I managed to wiggle two whole hours per week out of my schedule for writing. So, that's a thing that happened. What do you think of the characters so far? Yes you. Right there, you. Yes, I see you; don't think you slipped by. Anyway, I think I'm going crazier the more I write Kim in this. It's actually quite lethargerizing. Also, apparently "lethargerizing" is a word. Learn something new every day, and all that. Cheers._


	5. Meeting on a Misty Midnight

_A/N: Today's installment is brought to you through the combined efforts of me reading a_ lot _of Dr. Mcninja, and me drinking a _lot _of blue-rasberry Mountain Dew. When ingesting pure insanity, accept no substitutes!_

"Good evening, Miss Possible." Gemini smiled professionally. "I'm glad you decided to join us on time...for once."

Kim's eccentric nature regarding meetups was well known throughout the criminal underworld. She liked to lurk in the shadows, wait until her contact was just about to leave, and then-finally-reveal herself. It didn't matter if this took minutes or more than a day. She'd let them sweat it out. Officially, she insisted this was to give anyone attempting to bust the meeting a fit or seven, but in reality, it was to give her an edge on the bargaining board over her infuriated contact. This time, Gemini had managed to avoid this particular ordeal. She'd brought a tent.

The meeting itself was as _very_ traditional. Middle of the night, abandoned warehouse, bad part of town, it was a whole thing.

Gemini was seated at a small rectangular table in the middle of the empty building. A single light bulb, the only functional one in the building, dangled above her head on a long chain. Kim stepped smoothly out of the shadows and walked silently towards her buyer. She knew Gemini hadn't actually known she was there, but she decided to humor the woman. Especially once she'd considered her asking price again.

"I believe you have something for me?" Gemini asked cooly, a hind outstretched.

"_Oh my Money." _Kim thought. "_She can _see _I don't have it, and she couldn't lift it even if I did." _It was harmless mental venting, thankfully, as crossing Gemini was rarely a good idea.

Even if she did wear cliches like clothing.

Kim made a silent "come forward" gesture in Klingon sign language (Wade has insisted every other member of Team Possible, even rufus, learn). Ron-who had mastered the ninja arts specifically for this purpose-appeared directly in front of Gemini, device in his arms, freaking her out a little.

"Now for my payment." Kim cooed, pronouncing the word payment the same way politicians say "unsolicited campaign contributions," or ambulance chasers say "liability."

For this part, Gemini frowned. She had a strong suspicion that Kim had taken Senior's offer for the device, and stapled a zero onto it before relaying the number to her (which was the best kind of suspicion because it was correct). The intel had been easy to acquire and there was always more money to be had, even if the laundering took some time. She passed a single manila folder, taken from her briefcase, across the table. Visibly, that was the only transaction, but Wade was already tracking the team account. Once he confirmed the money had been transferred, Kim nodded for Ron to hand over the device. She was already paging through the folder. Her eyes fixed on the picture paperclipped to the back cover.

"Thank you, Miss Possible." Gemini smiled, handing of the device to one of her minions.

Kim didn't answer.

"Miss Possible?"

Kim wasn't really _that_ impressed with the new heroine's looks. She was pretty, beautiful even. She just liked messing with people, really.

"The pleasure's all mine." Kim said finally, closing the folder. "Thanks for the intel. I'll have to keep an eye out for this Adrena Lynn."

"I'm sure." Dr. Director smirked.

Kim's retort was already in the chamber and ready to fire, when another voice rang out through the cavernous building.

"Prepare, evildoers, for your reckoning is at hand!" Atop a cargo container near one of the far walls, a single man in a labcoat stood poised dramatically, shouting at them. Unfortunately, due to the distance and echo, his words sounded more like: "Prehar, evldrs fr yr rknin 's a han."

"For you face the fearsome intellect of Dr. Drakken!" "Fr y fse eh fersme itlk v eher Akkn."

"Oh for the love of deviousness, just shoot 'em, Dr. D!" Another voice, this one female cried from just behind the group of villains. Kim, Ron, and Gemini all spun around to see a pale green woman, clad in a black and neon green catsuit with hands ablaze in green flame, standing amidst the unconscious forms of all of the minions Gemini had elected to bring. The woman, for her part, looked embarrassed at her own outburst, but frustrated with the man's antics. Kim stared at the woman.

"Hey, Kim," Ron grinned,eying his friend after a combined moment of stunned silence. "You can pick your tongue up off the floor now."

Dr. Drakken, who had been fishing in his pocket for a ray gun after Shego had spoken, shouted a determined yell as he charged across the room, firing madly as he went. Shego leapt at Kim, who ducked under the woman's blows and delivered a kick to her midsection that sent the green ex-villainess flying backward. Shego turned her knockback into a cartwheel. She continued backward until he hit the far wall, and pushed off it to launch herself again at Kim.

"You can have Lynn, Gemini." Kim declared, grinning wildly as she watched her opponent. She tossed the folder to the leader of the W.E.E. "I've just been taken." She stepped forward into a defensive stance. "Ron," she looked back at her friend, "Take care of the other one."

"On it, Kim." He gave her the thumbs up.

"Yea, on eh!" Rufus squeaked as he leaned out of Ron's baggy pocket, mimicking Ron's pose.

Kim couldn't stop smiling as she threw herself at her onrushing opponent.

_A/N 2: Ha, ha! You might've thought you get to see our two intrepid protagonists engage in mortal combat today. _

_WRONG!_

_You'll just have to wait all the way until next week to see the actual fight scene. Mine is an evil laugh. _


	6. First Contact

_A/N: Ha! No you get it now. _

Kim sized up her opponent. Actually, sized up would be a bit misleading. She'd done that twice before their fight even began, and it was proceeding with enthusiasm. Eyeing up would be a more accurate term, actually. It was kinda creepy, truth be told.

Kim eyed up her opponent.

The woman was skilled, Kim had to give her that. She'd been in the villainous business since junior high, and had traded blows with more wannabes and rent-a-cops then she cared to remember. This one though. Green skin, unnaturally lustrous hair, and _hands that were on fire_ aside, there was something off.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Kim asked, ducking back to avoid the fiery claws that raked at her face.

Shego paused, stunned momentarily at the question.

"My name's Shego." she declared, pausing as she waited for some sort of reaction. "I was once mastermind of the nefarious Team Go, and, uh, you'll learn to fear me you impetuous hero...I mean, villainous cur." _This is harder than I thought._

"Hmm, new to the business?" Kim asked pleasantly, almost as if she _hadn't_ just launched a kick at the woman that would take the heads off those with slower reaction times.

"A bit." Shego admitted, launching a volley of plasma bolts at the redheaded thief.

"You must not have been very good." Kim declared off-handedly, cartwheeling backward. "I don't think I've heard of you before."

Shego fumed. "We were the most feared group on the entire western coast!"

"Hmm." Kim hummed ponderously. "Nope; not ringing any bells. You've got some ego there, though."

"You'll eat those words, fool." Shego shook herself. "Gah! I mean, surrender now."

"Wow." Kim grinned. "You're pretty green, huh?"

The entire world stopped for a moment. For a few precious seconds, nobody moved. At all. On the entire planet.

"Boo." Ron groaned from across the warehouse where he held Drakken in a choke hold, the two of them half-heartedly wrestling while watching their respective teammates. "That was bad even by your standards, KP."

"Yuck." Rufus, who was nearby experimenting with Drakken's ray gun by shooting it into the ceiling, stuck out his tongue in agreement.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Kim snapped. "I was busy fighting my future nemesis over here. And how witty was _your _villainous banter, Mr." She was cut off by a crushing roundhouse to the back of the head. She went flying through the air to land beside Rufus.

"Woah there, princess." Shego smirked at the sprawled villainess. "I haven't said anything about being nemesises. I'm _way_ out of your league, kid."

This time, the entire universe just froze in place for about three seconds.

Kim was not a humble woman. She was, in fact, a little narcissistic. And greedy. And shameless. And a vain, somewhat shallow, anti-social, flirtatious, irreverent, deceitful, impolite, sneaky, adrenaline junkie, and in the interest of full disclosure, she was also probably autassassinophilic (don't look it up). Also, she was somewhat sociopathic. None of those things liked being called a kid, and only one of them was particularly crazy about being suckerkicked while her back was turned. Especially by a hero, and her future nemesis.

Something inside Kim snapped.

Ron gave a low whistle, shaking his head gravely. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shouldn't have done that."

"Oh yeah?" Shego laughed, "and what exactly are you going to do about it, blondie?"

"Not me." Ron shrugged, "You know what they say: Hell hath no fury..."

Shego's eyes moved back to what should have been the unconscious form of Kim Possible. She was staggering to her feet, a feral glint in her eyes.

"Rufus," she growled, holding out her hand. "gun."

Rufus quietly relenquished his newly acquired plaything.

Shego gulped as Kim spun the dial on the side of the device. It trembled and hummed with energy.

"CALL ME A KID AGAIN, I _DARE_ YOU!"

Ron, Drakken, and Rufus were already halfway to the doors. Shego, unfortunately, did not move. She was dumbstruck. Not even Hego should've been able to withstand a kick like that. This stupor of hers meant that she was alone with a furious Kim, and no cover between them.

"Er..." Shego began nervously.

Kim opened fire.

Shego began running madly, jumping to either side when she heard the weapon discharge. She cursed her own inattentiveness. Drakken had described to her in great detail what each of that ray gun's settings did, but the fly buzzing on the wall behind him had been so much more _interesting_ at the time. And her nails really _had_ needed to be filed. Just a bit.

She felt her body go entirely rigid as a bolt struck her square in the back.

_Paralysis!_ She thought triumphantly,_ That's what the maximum setting did._

Granted, it would've helped to know that just a wee bit sooner.

"Ha!" Kim shouted gleefully. "Now who's out of whose league?"

She sauntered up to Shego's prone form, tossing the now depleted gun aside as she did.

"Imma tear you apart." Shego tried, and failed to threaten menacingly.

Kim got a mischievous glint in her eye. "Promises, promises." She purred. _Purred!_

"Ar 'ou...flirtin' wif me?"

"Is there a reason I shouldn't?"

Shego was at a loss. She'd been flirted at before by foes, but those had been back when she was still a villain, and always from men. She'd just kicked them once or twice in very peculiar spots (the head, actually) until they stopped or ended up in a hospital. But this was different in _so_ many ways. And she wasn't feeling the usual outrage at the prospect of being...courted. _It was probably the paralysis gun._ She decided, _Yeah. No need to dwell on that any further. _

"You kick like a mule," She began, kneeling before her helpless opponent, "and you're kind of an ass, but I suppose you'll do."

"Wha?" Shego slurred, her mouth about the only thing she still had control over.

"For a nemesis, of course!" She began rummaging through Shego's ankle pouch. "A nail file?" Kim exclaimed, surprised, as she withdrew her hand. "Mine now." She shrugged.

"Hey! Tha's mine." Shego numbly protested.

"Thief." Kim grinned broadly as she held the pilfered item in the palm of her open hand, closed it, and then opened it again. The file was gone. "Master thief."

She practically skipped away, humming merrily to herself.

"Tha's pointless!" Shego growled after her. "I hav' mor!"

"Not for long." Kim called back, giggling insufferably as she disappeared into the night.

It took over an hour for the paralysis to wear off, and almost as long to find Drakken again. He was hiding between the support beams under a nearby pier. Upon their return to Drakken's hideout, she wanted to return immediately to her room, but Drakken insisted she join in the briefing. Far from being displeased, Dr. Director had commend her ability to almost subdue the criminals there. It didn't make her feel any better. The absolute lowest part of her day came when she returned to her room just before midnight to find it unlocked. There was a note left on her dresser.

_Hey hot stuff,_

**_Kim, why would you even do that to her?_**

_Thanks for not checking your pocket and finding the tracking device I left there. Your base is nice, but the security is terrible. Kinda boring, actually. So lets play a game! You can review the security footage, and for every time you catch me on it, I'll return one of your nail files._

_Stay frosty _**_- __I mean it Kim, no more puns._**

_With less than pure intent,_

_Kim Possible _

_P.S. (I Can Steal Anything)_

Finally, she had pressed her lips to the bottom of the page. It smelled like freshly minted bills.

Shego wasn't able to get any sleep that night.

_A/N: SO BORED NOW._


	7. Mission Possible

"Alright, Kim. You need to take the next left. Then right, then left again."

"I've got it, Wade. It's a vent, not a labyrinth."

"Just let me have this one. There's nothing to hack in there. I need something to do."

Kim grumbled, but acquiesced. Sometimes, his job seemed much easier to hers when she really thought about it. It made her wonder why she was paying him a cushy thirty percent of each take. Her mother might've been onto something when she'd said to never go into crime with friends or family. That was lesson number one growing up. Number two was never leave any incriminating evidence, and three was always have blackmail material. Sage wisdom, really.

Kim pulled up the grate directly above her target, and nearly swore.

"Nothing to hack, Wade? I've got motion sensors and infrared lasers directly below me."

"What? There shouldn't be any...whoa." The radio cut out for a moment. "Yeah, that's a lot of alarms."

"Hack them, then."

"I can't hack them, they're part of a closed system. This building doesn't even have wifi."

"Hack those lasers."

"How, Kim?" How am I supposed to open a door that _doesn't exist_?"

"Use the net."

"Just go ahead and rappel or something."

"I'm docking your pay for this."

Kim shut off the comm before he could retort. While banter was integral to their emotional well-being, she _did_ need to concentrate here.

That, and hum the theme to _Mission Impossible._

There were, by her guess, at least eight motion sensors, a few dozen infrared tripwires, thermal sensors, an oxidization alarm in the display case of the artifact she was there to steal, and there were most likely pressure sensors in the floor. And there were cameras. She briefly considered giving Shego this one, but decided that that was far too easy..

Her suit took care of thermal sensors. One down, five to go.

She began her descent. From five meters up, it took her almost a half an hour to descend. Not a single camera saw her. That was the trick with motion sensors; go slow enough, and they don't trigger. That or just hold a sheet in front of them. The triplasers were simple enough to avoid. All she had to to was slowly descend from an angle instead of straight down, despite that being conventionally impossible. The pressure sensors on the floor were easy. She just didn't touch the ground. She planted her feet on the base of the display case.

Oxidization sensors now. Those were tricky. The artifact needed to be kept in a controlled atmosphere, which, if broken, triggered an alarm. The obvious solution was a simple smash-and-grab-and-run. Kim kicked over the stand, grabbed the glass box containing her prize, and slipped out of her harness. Oxidization sensors typically just shut off when pulled, instead of automatically triggering an alarm, and pressure sensors on the floor wouldn't trigger for anything weighing less than an average human without recalibration (No museum guard was ever diligent enough to do that. At least, none of the ones at any museum she'd ever robbed) and that stand had been both hollow, and made from what felt like balsa wood.

One quick leap/tumble, and Kim was out of the room, and sauntering confidently back to the museum entrance where Ron awaited with their getaway vehicle.

She actually made it outside, and had been greeted by Ron and Rufus when the obligatory hitch in their heist made itself known.

"Kim Possible!" A familiar voice echoed throughout the alleyway.

"Oh!" Kim's eyes lit up. "It's Shego and...er…" She turned to Ron. "Who was the other one again?"

"How should I know?"

"Well you fought him!"

"Er, excuse me."

"We didn't exactly exchange buisness cards beforehand."

"Oh, so you're the kind of man who'd fight with someone without to much as asking their name first?"

"Hello?"

"Oh come on, Kim. It wasn't like that. He was actually kind of a buffoon."

"I am not a buffoon!"

"Quiet down, Junior." Kim snapped. "The grown-ups are talking."

"Can I smack her around now, Dr. D?"

Drakken nodded his approval at the same moment that Kim shouted "Only if you ask me nicely"

_A/N: Do not try anything you read in this story at home. EVER. Besides, stealing from museums is_ way _easier than it is in fiction._


	8. PSA

_No, you don't get two updates in one day. Don't be greedy. The next update will come on either Wednesday if I have the time, or Friday, again, if I have the time. This is just a reminder that the fannies are being dolled out, and you should keep an eye on them. Vote too. Seriously. I don't care if it isn't even for me. Support the authors you enjoy. I was a runner up for two categories last year and it made me feel amazing. Spread that love to an author you enjoy. Or me. Just saying. _

_Never sane, not even for a moment,_

_darthsquirt2_

_P.S. Seriously. VOTE._


	9. Jubabble

_A/N: I am currently running on apple juice and a mars bar. _

"Well hello there, my lovely." Km purred as Shego squared off to face her.

"Would you stop that?" Shego scowled, igniting her hands and slipping into a defensive stance.

"Stop what?" Kim asked innocently as she unholstered her grappling hook gun, artefact still under her left arm.

"The flirting." Shego leapt to the side, avoiding Kim's clawed grappling hook as it shot past her. She landed in a tight crouch and wasted no time returning fire with literal fire. "It's distracting. You're distracting."

Kim offered only a cocky grin in reply at first. Behind her, Shego heard a metallic clank. Kim flipped a switch on her weapon, which sent her rocketing forward, into Shego. Kim, with the element of surprise, slammed the ex-villain into the museum's exterior brick wall. "You love it." She whispered into her opponent's dazed ear.

"You're," _crazy _"insufferable." Shego managed after a few seconds of spinning stars and unresponsive limbs.

"And available." Kim retorted cheerfully.

"I'm going to enjoy beating you up."

"Oh!" Kim's eyes lit up mischeviously. "Promises, promises."

With a superhumanly frustrated roar, Shego summoned a veritable column of emerald flame around her before discharging it in all directions, baking the alley around her. Kim was already somersaulting (one handedly) away, her pilfered Assyrian artefact safely in (other) hand.

"Better luck next time, sweetheart!" Kim called back in a singsong tone as she flipped to her feet, and began sprinting toward her partner and their waiting hovercraft, leaving a very flustered Shego behind.

"Are you alright, Shego?" Drakken asked as he half-limped over to her, sporting a very nasty looking torn shoulder seam on his labcoat.

"Honestly, Dr. D?" Shego shook her head, "I don't have the faintest idea."

_A/N: Was this chapter short? Yes. Should I have done this last week so that I could focus on furthering the storyline? Also yes. But really, is that _**my** _fault? I mean when you really think about it. I'll let you ponder that one. Some questions may be better left unanswered. Mysteries like this run in mystical rivers that course throughout the universe. _

_Fun fact: Google's spell-check dictionary does not include the word "crouch." It kept trying to change it to "crotch." Nice one, internet. Stay classy. _


End file.
